


From Russia with … ehm … caution? Maybe?

by Dwarfanonymice



Series: Kingsman's vignettes [7]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Eggsy Unwin as Arthur, Harry Hart as Guinevere, John the recruit, M/M, Nobody questions it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-23 04:32:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13182435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dwarfanonymice/pseuds/Dwarfanonymice
Summary: Two spies from Siberia (one American and one Russian) decide to visit the shop. It goes as well as you might expect. Another day in the life of English spies in Scotland.





	From Russia with … ehm … caution? Maybe?

Christmas has come and gone and the Kingsman’s headquarters were absolutely relieved about the fact. Shenanigans and hysterics were quietly led back into a normal path and everyone was happy.

Everyone? Well… almost.

You see, it seems that someone forgot to mention that he invited two former spies from Russia to visit the supposedly secret base in Scotland and everyone’s spirits were a bit – shall we say? – high.

“Stay right where you are” boomed John’s voice while pointing an AK47 towards the intruders.

“Nice work, Cowboy” snorted Illya “They will never know we are here. We will surprise Harry” he added in a mocking falsetto.

“Shut up, Peril” answered fondly an impeccably dressed Napoleon, to whom the years had not taken anything away in terms of charm and elegance.

“Guinevere is on his way and Arthur also apparently” interrupted Morgana’s voice from the speakers to the left, embedded in one of the mirrors in the shop.

“Hello, Morgana” said placidly Illya “Many years have passed. How are you?”

“She’s fine and she is in no need of your platitudes” stated an irate Scottish voice to his right while pointing suddenly an hunting knife to his throat.

“I see Merlin still remembers you and your trips to the Kamcatka very fondly” snickered Napoleon.

“I dare say he does” interrupted Guinevere “Hello, dear friends. What are you doing here?”

“Don’t feign surprise. You invited us, безобразник ” smiled Illya while trying to embrace him.

Unfortunately he was stopped by Arthur who traded a gun on him.

“Oh, so this is your boy, then?” asked Napoleon “I commend you for your good taste. He is gorgeous, not as the lady behind him, obviously”

Lancelot snorted at that blatant flirtation and she kept her knife pen still pointed on his kidneys.

Harry sighed and told everyone to stand down: “There is no need to be so dramatic. We will be perfectly fine. Come with me, gentlemen. John, you can go back to your work here in the shop and thank you”.

“You’re welcome, boss, but I will still keep my eyes on them” was the reply.

“We all will” threatened Merlin and Morgana at the same time.

“If that’s alright with you, sir” said Lancelot to Eggsy “I will stay here with John. To help, of course”. With her glasses she signaled that she would make use of the hidden room behind the panel in Eggsy’s office. Arthur sent her a wink emoji while Harry guided everyone towards their destination.

Once arrived and with the door closed, Illya and Napoleon hugged Harry to an inch of his life while talking animatedly in Russian and lamenting the loss of his eye.

“It doesn’t wipe away your beauty. You look like a pirate” admired Napoleon.

“Come to Russia. We will build you a new one, a bionic eye…” affirmed Illya.

Eggsy coughed: “Excuse me, Merlin has already prepared one and in two weeks he will have it.” While saying that, he inserted himself between the spies and Harry and he took him by the arm looking cute and murderous at the same time.

“So,” he continued “if you wouldn’t mind introducing yourselves…”

At that, Napoleon laughed: “Oh, you are cute and a bit of a troublemaker too, like our boy here.”

The Russian perused Eggsy silently and then he said: “So, you are the one who saved the world twice, killed the former Arthur and rebuilt this organisation. How would you like to work for us?”

Harry snorted, disentangling himself from Eggsy and offered them a drink.

“I’m afraid your vodka is almost finished, but if you want to continue this conversation we are going to need it. Please, have a seat”.

I’m afraid, dear readers, that this is the point where we leave our friends: how Eggsy answered that question and the discussion that followed are left to your imagination, but rest assured that Illya regretted even suggesting a ludicrous offer like that. As if Eggsy would be parted by Harry or the other way around...

**Author's Note:**

> безобразник means troublemaker in Russian. Thanks for pointing out my previous mistake.  
> Another vignette where two fandoms collide.  
> I hope you like it.  
> Thanks for reading.


End file.
